10 Best Pumpkin Cutting Swords

October 22, 2008

It’s that time of year…

Everyone knows that the best part of Halloween isn’t dressing up or carving Jack-O-Lanterns…it’s the annual smashing of the pumpkins on November 1st!

This year, it’s time for you to step it up a notch. Don’t dirty your boot by stomping on it or blandly carry the old pumpkin to the dumpster like a pansy. Instead, hack it to bits with a sword like a real man!

To help you decide which weapon to choose, we at HeavenlySwords.com have compiled a Top 10 List of best swords for cutting pumpkins.

Without further ado:

10.) The Paul Chen Zatoichi Blind Fury. That cute little orange pumpkin will never see you coming! The Paul Chen Zatoichi Blind Fury is a straight katana that is sleekly disguised as a walking stick, enabling you to tap into your inner James Bond. The fully functional carbon steel blade is 28.5” long, so you can hack at multiple pumpkins with one swipe. Think economies of scale, slasher style!

Retail price: $119. Our price: $99.

9.) The Dungeon Master’s Claw. Do you have a dark side? Have you converted your basement into an elaborate S&M dungeon? (It’s okay to say yes, we’re not here to judge!) If so, the Dungeon Master’s Claw is the perfect way force those old pumpkins into submission and show them who the real boss is. Throw it like a ninja star or just randomly hack into it, whatever you feel like. Hell, you can even tie the pumpkin up beforehand for good measure. The four individual blades measure only 2.5” in length, so you won’t do too much damage…just enough for the pumpkin to feel it.

Retail price: $34.95. Our price: $29.98.

8.) The Double Bladed Katar. If you have refined taste and prefer stabbing to slicing, the ornate and elegant double bladed katar is the perfect weapon. This Patrick Bateman-esque weapon features two jagged blades and an adjustable wristband for added comfort. Mutilating pumpkins has never been easier, or more fun!

Retail price: $39.99. Our price: $28.98.

7.) Butterfly Swords. If you have plans for your pumpkin after you chop it to bits (a nice stew, perhaps?), butterfly swords are the way to go. They slash, chop and can even trap any weapons that the pumpkin might unexpectedly yield at the last minute. Basically, they’ll do everything except make you a cup of coffee and an omelet in the morning. Weighing in at 37.1 ounces and measuring 20.25” long, the high carbon steel blades are practically designed to kick some pumpkin ass. Retail price: $349.99. Our price: $289.99.

6.) The Berserk Dragon Slayer Sword. If it can slay a dragon, the pumpkin sitting on your porch doesn’t stand a chance. Enough said, right?

Retail price: $99.97. Our price: $71.98.

5.) The Napoleonic Rapier. For those of you who have a serious case of short man syndrome, the Napoleonic Rapier is the way to go. With 35 full inches of weapon at your disposal, pumpkins will fear you. Women will love you. Men will envy you. Plus, it comes with two different finishes: gold and antique silver. (Be sure to pick the finish that matches your Hummer!)

Retail price: $58.50. Our price: $38.50.

4.) The Helmet of Darkness. Okay, so this isn’t exactly a sword. But for those who like to think outside of the box, it’s the perfect weapon for pulverizing pumpkins! Plus, the options are virtually endless. You can wear the Helmet of Darkness and then head butt the pumpkins until they’re pulpy. Or, you can toss a pumpkin into the air and try to catch it on one of the five stainless steel blades. With the Helmet of Darkness, you’re limited only by your imagination.

Retail price: $299.99. Our price: $134.99.

3.) The Cinthorc Sword of Justice. Like the name implies, the Cinthorc Sword of Justice will punish any and all pumpkins that have been in your way for the past several weeks. The sentencing of the pumpkins is entirely up to you, but the sword does come with a free art print to give you inspiration. We suggest throwing the pumpkin in the air, and then slashing at it with the sword, baseball-style.

Retail price $185. Our price: $139.98.

2.) The Japanese Naginata. They may not celebrate Halloween in Japan, but this sword doesn’t know that. It looks as though all 63” of it has been specifically designed to slay pumpkins with style. The carbon steel blade will cut through the pumpkins like a hot knife through butter. Samurai tested, Sensai approved.

Retail price: $75. Our price: $53.98.

1.) The Black Legion Battle Axe. Here we are, number one on the list! The Black Legion Battle Axe deserves to be at the top of all lists, not just this one. Directly from the mind of fantasy artist Kit Rae, this vicious weapon is so fierce it comes with a certificate of authenticity! Wield this and watch the pumpkins cry before putting them out of their misery.

Retail price: $170. Our price: $128.

Now that your are all jacked up and wanting to slay some pumpkins…remember safety first! We are not responsible and don’t want to hear about anyone loosing a limb! (Though we do want to see you film it.)

Written by Tristan Knight · Filed Under Fun Stuff
Tagged: halloween, pumpkin cutting

Comments

Got something to say?