Crazy Awesome Movies: The Last Dragon

A martial arts fantasy musical… what?! Yes. It’s been done, and it is glorious. If you’re standing there perplexed, smooth out that frown, ‘cuz today we’re talking about The Last Dragon. Sho’nuff!

The Last Dragon is a freakin’ masterpiece. It has everything, a noble hero, a beautiful songstress in distress, a crazy hilarious villain, piranhas, big ‘80s hair, and an awesome musical number at the end where everyone is dressed in white tuxedos. You can’t make this stuff up.

This film was released in 1985, and hasn’t left my consciousness from the moment I saw it. It follows Leroy, a devoted martial artist, who worships Bruce Lee (who doesn’t?) and dreams of one day achieving the ultimate mastery of martial arts, otherwise known as “The Glow”.

He must defeat the Shogun of Harlem, a hilariously memorable character called Sho’nuff.

There’s all kinds of weirdness in this movie, but my favorite part is when he finally catches a bullet with his teeth in the climactic scene. You must watch this movie. NOW. Your life will never be the same.

After you watch it, and your hope for mankind is likely restored, you’ll probably want to train just like Leroy. In case Sho’nuff should show up at your local movie theater. Here’s some pretty amazing gear from Heavenly Swords to quench your thirst for ninja mastery. Leroy would be so proud:

Azan Royal Throwing Card Spades Set of 5

These are made of steel with factory sharp edges. They come in a nylon pouch so you can be ready whenever an opponent should challenge you.

Black Ninja Warrior Sword & Stars

This 39” swords is made of 440 stainless steel and comes with a pitch black blade, so you can go undetected in the night. The square guard can be removed and used as two throwing stars.

Black Throwing Star 4 pointed

This four pointed black throwing star is the perfect pocket weapon. It is made of 440 stainless steel and comes with a nylon pouch. Careful, it’s sharp!

Covert Double Trouble Ninja Sword Set

These swords are not only beautifully unique, but they will cut through almost anything. They come super sharp, and look great prominently displayed anywhere. Let Sho’nuff know who’s the true Master with these swords!

Dual Rainbow Blade Full Tang Ninja Swords

Talk about “the glow”. These swords bring ninja weapons to a whole new level. They are functional showpieces that come fully sharpened, so you can leave your friends speechless when you demonstrate their power. Use responsibly, of course.

Kuma Claw and throwing star

This claw has Sho’nuff written all over it. I imagine he would’ve loved showing up somewhere wearing it, and scaring the bejeesus out of anyone who got in his way. “Who’s the prettiest? Sho’nuff!”

Sidenote: There’s been a lot of talk on the interwebs about doing a remake of this film. Why?! Please, do not remake this movie. You can’t recreate the magical camp that is this classic. It is a journey to a mystical world… it’s ridiculous, and silly, and just plain perfect. You wouldn’t repaint a Van Gogh, would you?

 

What Time Is It? Adventure Time!

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My favorite show of all time is an animated, 11 minute series called Adventure Time. It’s about two brothers, a human boy named Finn and a magic dog named Jake. Jake’s parents adopted Finn after finding him crying in the woods as a baby. Anyway, they go on adventures together. Adventures full of danger and dragons and wizards and Finn’s favorite, dungeons!

As I was watching this week’s episode, I thought to myself, “What kind of weapons would Finn and Jake use if they were in a real dungeon?” Assuming there would be dragons and monsters in it, of course. After looking through Heavenly Sword’s selection, I came up with a few items that would make Finn shout, “Mathematical!”

Classic Japanese Black Samurai Katana Three piece Sword Set and Stand

Anyone who watches the series knows that Finn and Jake are obsessed with ninja stuff. They would go banay-nays for this three piece sword set. The end cap of the scabbard is a demon with its wings spread and a flower above it. I could totally see Jake giving this to Finn for his birthday.

Fantasy Dagger Set

Is it just me, or does this dagger set look a lot like Finn’s golden sword? This would be perfect to fight off some skeleton warriors! The handle features an antique bronze and silver finish, and it comes with a black belt sheath for easy access.

Wooden Viking Shield Buckler 29″

This functional shield would be great to deflect The Ice King’s ice lightning. It’s a good size and super sturdy. It is made of hardwood with steel decorative strips and rim. Its back is covered in felt, for comfort. It also has arm straps for easy handling.

Pair of Medieval Gauntlet with Brass Accents

Finn loves finding the occasional gauntlet in a dungeon, but if he had this pair of medieval gauntlet he would never have to go without. The brass accents make them unique, and the leather lining makes them easy to wear. No problem handling your sword in these guys!

Medieval Suit Of Armor Breast Plate and Shoulders

No hero goes into battle without a little armor. This 18 gauge carbon steel breast plate also protects your back and your shoulders. It has adjustable straps, so it will fit a variety of sizes. Finn would be well protected in this powerful piece.

Scottish Dirk by Cold Steel

Every warrior needs a cool sword. Finn has many swords in his arsenal, but this Highland Short Sword is not only beautiful, but functional too! It has a 13” blade and comes fully sharpened, so it’s totally ready for battle. The attractive leather scabbard and Rosewood handle complete this gorgeous piece of equipment.

Whether saving princesses from evil kings, or making their way through a creepy labyrinth, Finn and Jake would be ready for anything with these weapons in tow. The Lich wouldn’t stand a chance! Now you can be ready too, in case you ever need to make your way out of a dungeon.