Batman: The Rise, Fall and Rise Again of a Beloved Superhero

This past weekend there was a back to back marathon of all the Batman movies on ABC Family. I watched them all, in chronological order, cringing and cheering depending on the moment. Is it just me, or did the films get progressively terrible as the franchise continued? It seems that the entire series plummeted downhill after the second one, Batman Returns. Batman and Robin? Come on, people… You can’t have thought that was a good movie. And Uma! I love you, girl.. but what were you thinking?? Not to mention Mr. Freeze and his plastic ice lair…

All of that, put together with a seemingly drunken Batman (George Clooney, I abhor thee), a cartoony Robin and a phoned-in performance by Alicia Silverstone (Batgirl) made for one of the worst experiences I’ve had watching a movie. How is it possible that a stellar cast could collectively do a horrible job?

Now, you know me, I love me some camp. But there’s a distinct difference between the hilariously bad, and the badly bad. The kind of bad that is so bad because the cast and crew just apparently gave up. It’s like they were coasting on the success of the previous films. They didn’t even try.

Now, enter the saving grace of a beloved superhero, 2005’s Batman Begins. This is a much more realistic, much darker interpretation, and thank God for that. Christian Bale takes us on a journey that made billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne into a crime fighting, raspy-voiced lord of the night. I adore this movie. Cillian Murphy as the scarecrow… holy sh&*! Terrifyingly awesome. Liam Neeson? Yes. That guy hasn’t seen a bad acting day in his life. Sidenote: his portrayal of a pervy ghost in High Spirits (1988) is inspired. Such a funny movie, and Steve Guttenberg is in it. Now that is some good camp!

Now that we’ve acknowledged that the Batman franchise has had its ups and downs, we can get back to the amazingness that is the new incarnation. Since Batman Begins, there have been two new films, each incredible in both storyline and execution. The Dark Knight (2008) and the latest in the bunch The Dark Knight Rises (2012) were both great movies in their own right, but that’s a chat for another day…

Right now, I want to show you some of the awesome Batman gear Heavenly Swords has in stock for you. Let’s put away the bad, and focus on the greatness that is Batman today. Here are a few items to get your blood lust going:

Batman Dark Knight Mask

This is a perfect replica of the mask worn by Christian Bale. It has an adjustable Velcro strap so it can be worn on any size head. Made from resin, it is very durable. When you aren’t fighting crime, you can hang it on your wall with the included wall hanger. Just don’t do that if you’re trying to keep your identity hidden…

Dark Knight Rises Bokken

Now you can combine your love for Batman with your love for swords. This is a bokken, which is in itself a great weapon. It’s basically a wooden practice sword. This one would be perfect for cosplay, or just to practice your katana moves without lethally injuring anyone.

Batman Battle Axe Batax

Now this weapon is no joke. It has super sharp stainless steel blades, and is overall about 10” long. It’s the perfect throwing axe, but be careful!

These are just a few of the many Batman products we carry. We have arm guards, throwing stars, and double bladed folding knives, so check us out!!



What Time Is It? Adventure Time!


My favorite show of all time is an animated, 11 minute series called Adventure Time. It’s about two brothers, a human boy named Finn and a magic dog named Jake. Jake’s parents adopted Finn after finding him crying in the woods as a baby. Anyway, they go on adventures together. Adventures full of danger and dragons and wizards and Finn’s favorite, dungeons!

As I was watching this week’s episode, I thought to myself, “What kind of weapons would Finn and Jake use if they were in a real dungeon?” Assuming there would be dragons and monsters in it, of course. After looking through Heavenly Sword’s selection, I came up with a few items that would make Finn shout, “Mathematical!”

Classic Japanese Black Samurai Katana Three piece Sword Set and Stand

Anyone who watches the series knows that Finn and Jake are obsessed with ninja stuff. They would go banay-nays for this three piece sword set. The end cap of the scabbard is a demon with its wings spread and a flower above it. I could totally see Jake giving this to Finn for his birthday.

Fantasy Dagger Set

Is it just me, or does this dagger set look a lot like Finn’s golden sword? This would be perfect to fight off some skeleton warriors! The handle features an antique bronze and silver finish, and it comes with a black belt sheath for easy access.

Wooden Viking Shield Buckler 29″

This functional shield would be great to deflect The Ice King’s ice lightning. It’s a good size and super sturdy. It is made of hardwood with steel decorative strips and rim. Its back is covered in felt, for comfort. It also has arm straps for easy handling.

Pair of Medieval Gauntlet with Brass Accents

Finn loves finding the occasional gauntlet in a dungeon, but if he had this pair of medieval gauntlet he would never have to go without. The brass accents make them unique, and the leather lining makes them easy to wear. No problem handling your sword in these guys!

Medieval Suit Of Armor Breast Plate and Shoulders

No hero goes into battle without a little armor. This 18 gauge carbon steel breast plate also protects your back and your shoulders. It has adjustable straps, so it will fit a variety of sizes. Finn would be well protected in this powerful piece.

Scottish Dirk by Cold Steel

Every warrior needs a cool sword. Finn has many swords in his arsenal, but this Highland Short Sword is not only beautiful, but functional too! It has a 13” blade and comes fully sharpened, so it’s totally ready for battle. The attractive leather scabbard and Rosewood handle complete this gorgeous piece of equipment.

Whether saving princesses from evil kings, or making their way through a creepy labyrinth, Finn and Jake would be ready for anything with these weapons in tow. The Lich wouldn’t stand a chance! Now you can be ready too, in case you ever need to make your way out of a dungeon.


The One Thing You Can’t Do Without: A Machete

Growing up in Puerto Rico, I learned from an early age that traversing through the rain forest is impossible without one essential tool: the machete. Filled with waist-high, super thick, and possibly poisonous weeds, you won’t get very far in the jungle without this long, light weight, sword-like instrument swinging in front of you. Its swipes also scare away snakes, and other vermin than may be lying in wait, trying to get at your ankles.

Machetes are pretty common in Puerto Rico. They’re necessary for anyone who lives in the country, as the vegetation is dense. Dense like, Indiana Jones kind of dense. They’re also an excellent tool to cut into a coconut. Ever try to open a coconut with a regular knife? Yeah. I’ve compiled a list here of a few machetes I think are not only functional, but also beautiful. Who says tools can’t also be attractive?

Arnolds Predator Knife 20 1/2″

Whaaa?! Yes. This thing is… wow. Ok, yes. It’s a movie replica, but what a movie replica it is. And it could slice through some jungle brush like nobody’s business too. If it was good enough for Arnold, it’s good enough for me! Anyone would be lucky to have one these on hand in the jungle. There’s nothing this guy can’t handle.

Condor Boomslang Knife Machete 17 3/4″

Understated. Powerful. Gorgeous. It only weighs 1.35 lbs, perfect for swinging away at vines and thick, overgrown vegetation. Made of high carbon steel with an epoxy black powder coating, and it comes with a durable (and awesome looking) leather sheath.

Grass Machete with Cordura Sheath 19 1/2″

Now I have to say, this one looks most like the machetes I encountered growing up. I never got to learn how to handle one, but I watched my parents cut everything from hanging vines to a papaya with them. Super light-weight and very practical, this baby will be with you for decades. Also, it has a thick rubber grip, for more comfortable handling.

The Original Woodman’s Pal 16 1/2″

This is unlike any machete I’ve ever seen. It can be used as either an axe or a machete, which would come in handy if you need to cut down small trees for firewood or shelter. This would be my personal choice if I were to end up in the jungle for some reason. The Woodman’s Pal is made in the USA, and has been artfully crafted in Pennsylvania since 1941. It’s composed of two blades, one  convex and the other concave. This makes it a versatile and exceptionally strong tool. Also, the sickle hook feature is chiseled sharp to slice through underbrush with ease.

Whether you’re in the jungle looking for adventure, or a way back to civilization, having the right machete with you is paramount. They might look cumbersome, but you’ll thank your lucky stars you brought it with you, because regular survival knives just aren’t enough when you’re deep in the bush.