Goonies Never Say Die! Or: Why I Want To Be A Pirate

This past weekend I saw for the (probably) hundredth time one of my favorite movies ever, The Goonies. I’m pretty sure this film is the reason my life just never seems interesting enough. I’m also pretty sure it’s the reason I’m obsessed with pirates. Not the scary real-life Somali type, of course… But the always awesome, big hat, puffy shirt, eye patch, peg-leg, swords type.

This movie came out in 1985, and like Legend, I still own the original VHS tape. There’s something so nostalgic and wonderful about the terrible resolution and sound that I love so much. It wouldn’t be the same if I finally sprung for the DVD, though I’m sure it has some great special features. But I digress, in case you’ve never seen it, The Goonies is a comedy/adventure film written by Chris Columbus. He’s responsible for most of the ‘80s classics we all love and remember, like Gremlins, Adventures in Babysitting (Elizabeth Shue in the best role ever!), and Home Alone. Not to mention he directed the first two Harry Potter films. This guy is legendary. Steven Spielberg was the executive producer. Need I say more? Together with director Richard Donner, they created a timeless adventure classic that seamlessly combines the terror of being a pre-teen, with the courageous spirit of unlikely heroes.

The movie is about a group of 12 year-old friends who live in the Goon Docks of Astoria, Oregon. They call themselves “The Goonies”. They’re all about to lose their houses to a jerky developer who wants to turn their neighborhood into a golf course. Desperate to save their families, the four quirky characters end up embarking on a life-changing journey to find One-Eyed Willie’s treasure. Sounds good? Well, there’s more. The treasure map leads them to an abandoned Inn, where unbeknownst to them, a family of criminals called The Fratellis is hiding out. These kids just can’t catch a break!

The rest is just perfection. This film is funny, thrilling, heart-warming, and endlessly quotable. With a cast of characters you won’t soon forget, you’ll be doing the truffle-shuffle in no time, and shouting, “Fifty Dollar Bill!” at the top of your lungs.

To satisfy any Goonie’s lust for adventure, Heavenly Swords has all the pirate awesomeness you could ever want. You can make One-Eyed Willie proud with their huge selection of pirate gear. Here’s just a few to get you started:

Genuine Pirate Sword

With a golden doubloon detail in the scabbard, this sword is over 32” long and has a stainless steel blade. The brass accents make it a beautiful show piece, or the perfect addition to your pirate ensemble. This is just one in their extensive selection, so go take a look!

Pirate Gold Skull Coin Pendant


This pendant comes in a set of twelve. Give the guests at your pirate-themed party a party favor they’ll really appreciate. This is a super cool necklace both men and women can wear, it has a gold finish and an adjustable nylon chord. Your kids will love it too!

Pirate Skull Sword Holder

One-Eyed Willie, is that you? It could be… This wall mount will hold your cutlass in case you need it in a hurry, and scare the pants off anyone who walks into it at night.